Truth be told, when I first met our house guests, I had no idea what they were. However, I was immediately smitten by them. They haven’t quite made themselves at home in our actual home, but they seem content in their self appointed spot.
As it turns out, Hubby and the children informed me these adorable, lively guests are called chipmunks! (In my defense, please remember that I was raised in a city where pigeons were the closest thing to exotic animals I saw on a day-to-day basis.) Gus and Lucy, as I had originally named them, are tiny and cute. They seemed friendly and very eager to extend their stay with us. So I thought in order to be a most accommodating host, I would do a little research.
And then I Googled “chipmunk.” Now don’t get me wrong. I had no intention of making them little trousers or sundresses or offer them blankets and pillows, but I did want to become familiar with the species. Turns out they are rodents. And believe me, this city girls knows rodent means rats.
So my little sweet chipmunks are not going to help me with my house chores like they did with Cinderella or sing me songs like Alvin and his pals. Instead, they will burrow under my porch, call all their friends and dine on all my plants and on my underground wires and drive my poor enormous lab bonkers.
And then I Googled “get rid of chipmunk”. And oh my, what I found was astounding!
Bucket Drowning – Yes, you read that correctly. wikihow suggested placing a bucket of water equipped with a ramp and seeds leading to top and their ultimate demise! –So Savage
Peanut Butter Traps – Using their love for nuts, placing peanut butter on a trap will easily lure them to another form of demise! –So Cruel
Animal Domination – Release the hounds…… Banking on the idea that my lab will catch them, this will either kill them or scare them to death. There.Are.No.Words.
I could not help but feel for poor Gus and Lucy once more. Not only wikihow, but many sites I visited encouraged these forms of Game of Thrones-like deaths!
And then I Googled “humane ways to get rid of chipmunks” :
Al-right-ie then. And my decision was made.
I commissioned Hubby to simply trap them and let them loose far, far away, in a distant land where they can scurry happily and safely away from