Having That Talk

Around the time I was coming of age, my mother handed me this box.  In this box, I found two short books and a very thick napkin.  One book was for me to read and the other was for my mother to read ahead of our “having that talk”.   Apparently, my mother did NOT read her book, but rather just passed me the box and said,

“read everything, don’t put the pad on until you need it, and you can’t wear a tampon until your married.”

Let me break this down for you.

  • I struggled with whether I should read “How Shall I tell my Daughter” but I figured that the book would give me all the details I couldn’t find out in my copy of the book.
  • This thick napkin is called a “pad”?
  • Why are tampons only for married women and I sure hope they are smaller than this “pad”!

Needless to say, I learned everything there was to know from two books and my girlfriends.

Last June, on my first European trip since the children where born, I read Tina Fey’s book – Bossy Pants – which I recommend to EVERYONE.  Anyhow, she recalls a similar story that occurred with her mother and I couldn’t help but think it was a generational thing.  Last night, while chatting during the Super Bowl game with the ladies, a dear friend of mine – who had a very similar sheltered upbringing – recalled almost the same story, encounter, life event.

So why are we having this conversation and why am I blogging about this topic today?photo(1)

I think I need to have “the talk” with my oldest.  She is showing signs of maturing and quite honestly, I have no idea what to tell her or how much to tell her or how to begin the conversation.

My gut tells me to be honest and use medical terms and have my iPad handy.

In a way, maybe my mother’s idea of just dropping the “you are going to be a woman soon” box in my lap and walk away doesn’t seem so absurd right about now (ironically, I can only find the parent copy!).

But I know there are those of you who read this blog and can offer me assistance.

So fellow mothers.  Break it down for me.  When. What and How.  Help!

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6 thoughts on “Having That Talk

  1. I got a box and a booklet too. I had never heard the tampon bit before, but that is hysterical. I think you have the right approach with your daughter, it isn’t something to be afraid or shameful of.

  2. My daughter is 8 1/2 and showing signs. She has an older brother who is also beginning puberty. Fun. The initial talk started when my daughter asked me about the “machine” in the bathroom a couple of years ago and I explained it very generally. Part 2 was when a friend of the family told her she had started her period. That was easy. Part 3 will be a book that will talk about the specifics as she gets more into puberty. There is a very good book about puberty by American Girl that doesn’t talk about sex. The final, continual process is that I answer her questions honestly and succinctly when she asks. She recently asked me if she would get pimples. I answered her. I told her that we would cross that bridge when it happened.

  3. My mom tried to explain things to me. I read the “Dear God, It’s Me Margaret” book mostly out of curiosity. My mom tried to talk to me many times but I was just too embarrassed to listen. I was young for my grade too so I had friends who developed earlier and I learned from their experiences. That was easier to deal with. I will definitely take notes on how you handled! I still have 3 years…

    • @Mrs.MoNJ I still have my original copy of “Dear God, It’s me Margaret” . May pass down that copy to my Little Miss when I think she is ready. I’ll takes notes and share my approach. Going to aim for honesty and stick to the cycle talk. Going to avoid the birds and bees for now.

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