Earning a Tougher Skin

When I began this blog almost two years ago, I waited weeks before I finally hit the “publish” button.  And weeks before that, I struggled with the concept of even developing a blog.  But with the encouragement of my best friend and the support of my Hubby, I let me fingers and thoughts loose and became a “Blogger.”

Over the course of the two years, I have made great strides with not only my writing, but my reach.  My blogs have appeared on various online publications and my Twitter and Facebook fan pages have also developed a healthy following.  Most often, readers agree with my perspective and other times they don’t.  Regardless of their opinions, I am always thankful for their comments.  In fact, I prided myself on “thinking” I had a tough skin when it came to comments that disagreed with my perspective.  However, that all changed one morning last week.

Last week, I posted a previously published blog on my local Patch.com website.  This blog first appeared on this site and I thought to share it with the Patch.com readers because I “assumed” the subject matter was simple and relatable and the concept harmless.

Boy was I in for a shock.

No sooner had the post been published than a comment appeared:

“I’m sorry CC I disagree,,,Mothers belong at home with the family, not in bars. My mom was never carefree or a a silly girl. Grow up.” – BobDee

I could almost tolerate his opinion that “Mothers shouldn’t be in bars”.  Yes, it is a ridiculous statement especially since NO WHERE in the blog did I write that the I was in a bar.  I simply point out three reasons why Ladies Nights Out are important and I make mention in just one brief statement that we enjoy wine.  What I took great offense in was his comment to “grow up”. 

Giving your opinion is one thing.  I admire those who comment on articles and I appreciate that they think enough of what I wrote to take the time to share their thoughts with me.  What I cannot tolerate are offensive and abusive remarks.  And there lies the difference between an educated comment and downright obnoxious comment.

I will be honest in saying I was very hurt by Mr. BobDee’s comment.  He not only missed the entire point of the post, but he was arrogant to assume I was drinking in a bar.  I composed at least 15 responses, but sent not one of them because suddenly, more comments began pouring in.

A few comments agreed with Mr. BobDee.

A few comments also missed the point of the blog.

A few comments sparred amongst each other.

A few comments were so raunchy they were removed.

A few comments triggered a different subject matter all-together.

And a few comments validated the point of what I wrote.

In the end, I never replied to one single comment – including Mr. BobDee.  I felt there really was no need to give my two cents especially when the thread took on a life of its own.  I said what I had to say in my blog and I stand by my words.  I do hope, however, that everyone who commented will think more about the subject matter.  I also hope they will read and re-read their comment to ensure they are sharing an educated comment and not an obnoxious one.  Perhaps at the expense of earning my tougher skin, someone will have learned something or taken something good from this.

Because in the end, isn’t that what blogging is all about?

…And for the record, thank you Mr.BobDee for not comprehending my post.

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3 thoughts on “Earning a Tougher Skin

  1. Christina … I so agree that Mother’s need a time … whether it be a night out, a movie, just going to the diner for a cup of tea and a piece of pie..
    In my time our nights out were Tupperware Parties, Candle Parties, Pampered Chef Parties, etc. We had all kinds of foods, punches (made with a voldka base), yummy desserts, coffee & tea. We laughed (till we cried many times), caught up on gossip, kid stuff, & school stuff. The parties usually started about 7:30 P.M. (after hubby was home & dinner served ) and then hubs watch kids and take over from there. Every month it seemed there was a different party to attend. 🙂
    Or a couple of us would go to a movie (chick flick) and the diner; or sometimes just wind up in someones kitchen with a bottle of wine, crackers, and just good conversation. It not be unusual for all of us to be folding her laundry as we sat and talked.
    However one defines time … we all need it. My mom went to Bingo every week — without children ! That was here time out. Others had quilting groups … their time out.
    I used to set aside the first hour I was home from work to sit on my front porch in the rocker with a big mug of tea and decompress … LOL My kids knew they could sit and share their day with me but they knew this was mom’s time before we started dinner, homework and baths. Every single person I know from child on up need their time and space. I could go on and on …. I’ll refrain. As Georgia will tell you get me going and I’m hard to stop.
    Man, woman, child, even our pets ……… we all need time and space. Every individual does, or handles, things differently. How we define what we need is up to the individual …… BUT WE ALL NEED A NIGHT OUT !!!!

  2. Pingback: Day Ten of Twenty-Two Day of Thanks | centraljerseyworkingmoms

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