Dressed, bright-eyed at 7am.
It’s my final exam – AKA my office Annual Meeting.
The pressure, preparation and the nerves that go into planning and executing the event are quite similar to the feelings I experienced as a college student taking my final exam. Of course, I am not graded on my performance, but my self-imposed standards that must be accomplished get more stringent the older I become. Back when I first began facilitating this event, I was younger and inexperienced. Despite this, I seemed to posses a very confident approach to running the event. As years pass, I find I have been placing more pressure on myself to execute this meeting seamlessly. Why?
I think the answer lies with title of “Mommy”. Subconsciously, I believe I am trying to prove to myself and my peers that I can, in fact, run my family and maintain my career and run an event with the snap of a finger. Over the years, I have facilitated the event as single career focused woman, engaged, married, pregnant, mother of one, pregnant, mother of two and now ring master of this circus of life.
It’s so ironic that the more comfortable I become in my skin and relish in who I have become, the stronger my desire grows to prove my ability and skills. Is this just me or are there others out there who feel the same way?